Stop it "negative Nancy"!

I was recently talking with a soon-to-be first time mom who was upset about a recent conversation she had with a friend. This friend apparently did nothing but try and point out every negative she may encounter once her baby is born.
I will never understand is telling a soon-to-be moms negative things about her soon-to-be earth side baby and parenting journey. Why do it? Because misery loves company? What good does it do? It doesn't help you to feel better or fix a problem, and it definitely does not help the already nervous pregnant mother.
She will find out soon enough that her sleep will suffer from middle of the night feedings and diaper changes. That finding time to take a shower longer than 5 minutes will be difficult because she will be rushed for worry of her baby crying. That her relationship (marriage) will be different too. Tell her the positive things you have found, give her something good to think about and look forward to!

• Don't scare her and tell you about some labor horror story that you experienced or heard from a friend of a friend. Tell her how it's one of the most raw and empowering things she will ever experience, how she will find truly amazing strength that she didn't know was in her all for the love of this tiny person growing in her. Tell her to do what she can to cherish the last bit of her pregnancy even though she is tired, and stretched to the max because she will find herself missing her big belly and those kicks and hiccups. Missing the time where it was really just she and her baby sharing a unique-beautiful bond that nobody else will understand or be able to describe.

• Don't tell her about how she will never sleep again. Tell her about how she will, will herself to stay up just a few minutes longer because she can't pull her eyes away from the sweet beautiful sleeping babe that she brought into this world. That each smile and giggle will make her forget her tiredness and feel full of life like nothing else.

• Don't tell her about how her relationship (marriage) will suffer. Tell her about how she will find herself falling in love all over again and in a deeper different way than the first time because there is truly something magical about seeing the man you love, fall in love and care for your child(ren). That those moments make your relationship strong and different than it was before.

• Don't tell her that she won't have a life after baby arrives. Tell that yes, her life will change and be different from anything she has known or experienced before she became a mother but that it is so worth it. That she won't remember life before her baby or want to go back to it because this new life is so amazing and rewarding. 

• Tell her that she will learn so much about herself and find beauty in the small things looking through the eyes of her child. 
• Tell her that she is not in this alone! That there are a million other mothers out there questioning on if they are doing this right and that she does have support when she needs it!

Photo Credit: Birth by Sassafras Photography PDX